Thoughts on "Playing cards in Cairo"

I  finished reading the book "Playing cards in Cairo". Partly it was a foreigner's amazement of an odd new culture he had been thrown into, like a newbie, amazed and stunned. Partly as a Western man, digging into the lives of Egyptian women, something even I had no clue of when visiting this country as a tourist. And thirdly, what gave reading this book a good feeling, he was welcoming and open-minded for the exotic oriental culture. Not too snobbish and critical to a good limit!

The plot. To cut a long story short - a British man went to Cairo for work, lived as an expat, on the last night met a girl at a work party. Went back to England. Understood that the West is too superficial and consumption-minded for him and he couldn't stop thinking of the girl he met. He flew back to Cairo, looked her up again, became friends, started hanging  out at the Egyptian girls meetings and learning and understanding this culture piece by piece from the female point of view. Finally they got married and the the guy became a Muslim, only to be able to marry a Muslim girl.

I have extracted some of the better moments from the book. They either made me smile with irony or learn something new or find confirmation to my own discoveries.
When reading these extracts, lets remember that this book is only one man's view of the culture and it was written in 2008, before the Revolution, during the peak of the Mubarak era. The text in bold is the original extract and the normal font below is my thoughts and comments.
Here we go!

OPEN MIND
"Open-minded" is a code in Egypt, used to describe girls who are unveiled and drink, and men who don't care if women smoke or what they wear.

When i came to Cairo, I thought open-minded meant "like a western Egyptian", thinking like the westener or understanding the western ways, acting like a modern Egyptian, closer to a foreigner than an ordinary Egyptian. I soon learnt that open-minded only refers to some specific featured these open-minded Egyptians have: clothing, taste for western music and movies, humor, and yes a liberal view on smoking and alcohol. When it became to the topics of social roles as a man and a woman or to honor, the open-mindedness didn't apply. They were still acting to be " a strong man", powerful and controlling, just as the society expects a real man to be. They would never have their wives hug a male friend in the public, because that meant hurting his honor as the husband and make him seem weak, not to have power over his woman. And of course bellydance. Many open-minded Egyptians might say that bellydance is a beautiful ancient egyptian art form, but they would never allow their daughter to become a dancer, its not honorable or prestigious image to the family.

FAITH AND CHILDREN
For most ordinary Egyptians families family planning is synonymous with birth control, which amounts to an insulting attempt to tamper with God's will. They have faith that God's providence, together with help from compassionate fellow Muslims, will feed and clothe their children.
I respect all religions and I think a deep devotion to one's god shows great human discipline. But I also think that one has to take some responsibility himself. might be the will of his God to give him many children, but it also should be his responsibility to provide all of these children a decent and worthy life standard. This I don't see in Egypt! Families that have been blessed by the God, as they say, find themselves usually struggling to make to make ends meet, because the more children they have, the lower is the life quality for them. Why not have only 1-2 children and supply them well, offer a rich life with higher quality. This first of all meaning a good education, useful hobbies, clean clothes and nice lifestyle (like affording to take children to cinema or fun parks once in a while). Most ordinary multiple-children Egyptian families cant't afford that. Is this also the will of the God, not to be able to provide a decent childhood with good perspective for the future to one's children? Religion and personal responsibility should go hand it hand! 

REVOLUTION
I watched the early-morning rowers sculling on the Nile and thought about what it might take to bring a revolution to Egypt. History has shown that when sudden change comes it often arrives in disguise. 
Funny for the writer to speculate over it. At this time locals would never have imagined this would happen. But the writer obviously saw the country in such a rotten state he couldn't help to wonder about it. And yes, it did come in a disguise. From the usually innocent social media! The first group of demonstrators were united by a group in Facebook! I think this really shows its a modern revolution from a modern source.


HONOR
The concept of honor may mean little nowadays in the Western world - and many people regard that as a good thing - but the notions of personal honor and reputation still carry great weight in the Middle-East. A woman in Egypt must be seen to behave properly at all times since it is not only her name at stake, but her family's too. This limits where she can be seen, what she can wear and what she can do. 
Why this paragraph got my attention was the part "a woman must be seen to behave properly". Its very true, how people really behave in the private can be world apart from the image she paints in the public eye. The pressure not to make mistakes as a decent girl and the fear to be labeled as impolite or a "free girl" (not a compliment in this country) has driven many girls to act, put on a mask. In reality they are very funny and witty girls, but the way they express themselves private would be condemned publicly. In West we would just say she has a spicy tongue, but here she would be labeled as a bitchy girl and noone wants that. In Egypt many actions are considered either right or either wrong, black or white. The reasons behind normally don't matter. People judge others by what they can see and they rarely have mercy or an open enough mind for anything else between the rules of social conduct. 

UNEMPLOYMENT
There was nothing unusual about he's problem: I had heard this kind of story many times before. At lease he had a job, he was one of the lucky ones. Officially unemployment in Egypt is 9%, but in reality about 25% of young men and 59% of young women are without work. No work means no money and no money means young people cannot afford to get married. Since marriage is the only legitimate way to obtain sex that means frustration, particularly because Cairenes, like the rest of us, now live in the information era, and despite Islam the daily bombardment of erotica has never been more intense. 
The unemployment rate at the end of 2012 was 13% and only going up from there. The vicious circle described above is very true and I have seen it with my own eyes. So many of my friends have their future wife or husband picked out, engagements are often long and frustrating, because raising money takes long time. And the powerful expression of sexual frustration when it comes to single unengaged men is expressed on the streets. Add uneducated manners and hot blood and we reach the typical sad stories of street harassment.

WORK AMBITION
The state owned sugar, textile and and steel businesses are some of the biggest employers. So heavily protected are the industries from  market forces it is quite normal to find three or for people doing one man's job. It is a system that destroys ambition in which pay and working conditions are often appealing, but the presumed social cost of doing away with it is too high for anyone in power to contemplate.
In order to provide jobs for as much citizen and the government possibly can, YES, one mans job is made by way too many people. This adds to the time and energy one has to have to get any bureaucratic papers moving in the country. And YES, it kills ambition. Just one trip to the Mugamma (the notorious government office building on Tahrir) to apply extension for my tourist visa and I saw the officers and office-ladies are tired of the crowds, tired of the heat, tired of their routine work, and tired of each other. And as the workday officially finished at 5, when they feel tired at 4, they will just get up and leave, leaving the masses of people, with papers in their hands, standing at the windows, surprised, angry and tired too!

SUPERSTITION
He makes You do What??? I have to lie on the floor for three hours, without a matress or anything, not even moving or blinking. Just concentrating, with two speakers playing Koran right next to my head.
The heroins of the book were 5 egyptian girls, the open-minded girls. And looks like superstition still has power over the modernized Egyptians! The example above describes a girl's treatment to kill the jinn that had fallen in love with her, inhabited her body and made love to her in her sleep. The whole family believed in jinns. And while the other girls found the technique of the exorcist strange, they agreed she needs to get rid of that jinn in order to be able to continue her normal life. Lifestyles change but ancient superstition prevails it seems, most Egyptians to this day believe in the evil eye and protecting one's self from it by wearing the evil eye shape or hand of Fatima.


ANOTHER SHAABY KING
The disputed king of shaaby pop is the flamboyant, self-proclaimed illiterate Shaaban Abdel Rahim, or as his fans know him, Shaabola. Shaabola can neither play a musical instrument nor sing, and before he stumbled on fame he was a professional ironer. Shaabola's songs are aimed at the men on the streets and tackle topical issues like Nile pollution, the war on terror and taxes.
I knew this singer before moving to Egypt, but just a name and a face. Here I learnt he is quite a shaaby icon! He is also the composer for a famous controversial song called "I hate Israel". The first time I heard it was when waiting for Hassaan's show in Felfela restaurant (Im performing with Hassan Saeber live music folk show in Giza, in a family restaurant) and the band before us star playing it. I couldn't believe my ears and went closer to see what's up! For me as an European to hear such a provoking slogan sang out aloud to public ears sounds like a dangerous move. But then again, this is Egypt, in peace with Israel only by the papers. Most Egyptians hate Israel and Shaabola was brave enough to make it a song and market it with a flourishing success!

FIVE-STAR HOSPITAL
A private psychiatric hospital on the edge of Cairo. It was more of a five-star hotel than a hospital and was crammed full of wealthy Arab wives and errant sons admitted anonymously and against their will by their families in the Gulf to protect family honor.  Many of the inmates did not have a major psychiatric problem, but a history of drug use, alcoholism or promiscuous sex. The patients' families payed handsomely for their relatives be confined at the hospital but treatment was rudimentary and drugs and alcohol rife, smuggled in by the staff to sell on the lucrative hospital black market.
A funny ironic story. I guess it a good example of the survival instinct. If there is no way out, surely there is a way out;) Sneaky ways to get what You want are an everyday practice for many Egyptians.

In the West we often think of the life as a game. We think of people as players, winning some days, loosing others. But the rules I had played by in Britain did not work in Cairo. In Egypt, life was no game, it was preparation for the afterlife.  
I have not lived in Egypt long enough to believe that, but there already are many signs, it might be true. I agree with the first part, the game, because I have lived long enough in Europe to see this is how we live. If You have good knowledge on the Egypt-afterlife idea, please let us know!